Written by: Lindsay Sibson
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!”
Oh, the sweet musings and melodies of my childhood mind. For many years, I believed I would get married to my dream man around 25 years old and start popping out some kiddos to create a beautiful and loving family. And then I would live happily ever after. The end.
So, how did the story turn out?
My current reality couldn’t be any more different.
I am 31. Single. Traveling the world and living out of a backpack… and blissfully happy!
Looking back on the past decade of my dating life, so much has changed in regards to my approach and mentality towards relationships. In my young 20’s, I was looking for a husband because that is what I thought I should be doing. I was fortunate in the sense that I would meet and date wonderful men. They treated me well and I had good relationships for the most part. But every time, something deep down inside me didn’t feel “right”… so I would break it off.
I’ve had my fair share of being single too, sometimes for a period of a year or two. During my single days, I went on dates frequently and met a lot of men. Some were intriguing and funny. Others super boring and standoffish. Now that I have taken my life international, I have learned even more about love, relationships and life. I absolutely love LOVE and sharing my life with someone, but I also love myself and living a fulfilling life. Either way, I am happy.
So, how do you create a successfully single and happy life?
Here are my top 10 tips for creating a life you love no matter what your “relationship status” is.
1. Fall In Love With Your Life – You are the CEO of your life! Your decisions and actions each day are creating your reality. If your current situation isn’t making you fulfilled and excited about your life – TAKE ACTION and start making changes. You are not a damsel in distress waiting for your knight in shining armor to save you – you are an intelligent, beautiful, unique human being that is in control of your destiny. Grab the wheel, baby and start driving your life in the direction YOU want!
2. Romance Yourself – The purest form of love is self-love. You must learn to take care of yourself before you can share yourself with others. Eat well. Exercise. Rest when needed. LOVE yourself. The energy and actions you put into loving yourself will reflect in how others learn how to treat you. If you want a man or woman to treat you with respect and kindness, you must first start with treating yourself with respect and kindness.
3. Create Amazing Friendships – “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Well said, Jim Rohn. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting and make you feel great. In the past, I’ve had to “break up” with friends who were not contributing to my vision of a loving and happy relationship. I highly value the quality friendships I have made over the years and know that I have an amazing network of support and love that I can tap into at any time. Love doesn’t have to come from just a significant other and it shouldn’t just come from them either… Emphasis on love should be in all of your relationships, including the one with yourself, as mentioned above.
4. Know What You Want – My collective experiences in the dating world have led me to develop a clear understanding of knowing the characteristics I am looking for in a partner. Like anything in life, each romantic encounter is a learning process. Pay attention to what you like and don’t like and learn to walk away if a relationship isn’t in line with your values or what you want in life. Take the lessons you learned from that relationship and continue growing.
5. Listen To Your Gut Feelings – BOY, has this been a big one in my travel life this past year! You know that voice inside your head that is giving you guidance? LISTEN TO IT. When I met my ex-boyfriend in Ireland, my gut feeling was that we were not a match. He was very sweet and nice, but my instincts alerted me that something was “off.” We dated for five months before I finally decided to listen to my gut feeling and walk away from a good relationship (I want a freaking FANTASTIC and amazing relationship!).
6. Do What YOU Want – Decide how you want to live your life… and then LIVE IT! Do what you want, when you want, how you want and with who you want. Listen to other people’s advice, but ultimately do what makes sense to YOU. Learn to say NO to people, activities and circumstances that don’t excite you and make you happy.
7. Look Inwards For Happiness – No matter where you go… there you are. Traveling over the past year has made me realize how important it is to master my own psychology. What I mean by that is really understanding and digging deep in regards to how you think, feel and act. In other words, what “makes you tick.” I’ve always been an advocate for personal development and self-help books and programs, but more importantly, it is essential that you truly understand what makes you YOU. The conversation between your ears is massively important in regards to how happy you feel. Training and developing yourself to have a positive and happy mindset is important if you want to live a successful and happy life (single or not).
8. Dream Big And Set Goals – It is time to have a major brainstorming session. Grab a pen and paper and simply write down your VISION for your life. How do you feel? Where do you live? How do you spend your time? What are you surrounded by? What type of career do you have? What is your partner like? What do YOU want to accomplish in your life? Take the time to do a pen to paper purge. Get all those ideas out of your head! There is something so liberating and “real” about writing down your vision and goals.
9. Create A Compelling Future – This goes hand in hand with your vision and goals. Make it a daily ritual to intentionally visualize and think about what you want in your life. Also take time to express gratitude for all the blessings in your life. I like to do this first thing when I wake up in the morning and then also right before I go to sleep. If you need further guidance in this department, I highly recommend reading Drew Canole’s
WhyDentity: 17 Simple Practices To Reveal Your Purpose And Live With Passion
10. BE AUTHENTIC
Be in love with your life… every minute of it! “I’m in love with cities I’ve never been to and people I’ve never met.”