It’s not in your imagination. Divorce makes people into jerks. I once found myself winging the remote control across the room at my husband‘s face. I was so blinded by rage that I literally could not see straight; I just hurled it in the general direction of his infuriating voice and cruel words. I must admit, I had a brief moment of satisfaction, but that moment was quickly followed by a whole lot of remorse.
What was I turning into? Who was this bitter, angry, raving woman? That’s not me, or so I thought. I hardly recognized myself in the time just before my divorce. When I think back to how I behaved toward the end of my marriage, it makes heat creep up my neck, and I feel a little ill.
Now, as a divorce coach, I see this same behavior over and over again in my clients. The hatred, the bitterness, and the fury just take over and make us behave in ways that we’d never tell our kids is OK. So why does divorce bring out the worst in us?
Well, let’s start with the fact that it’s painful. And an enormous life change. Your very well-being and stability are being threatened, and that’s extremely scary. As if that isn’t enough, these five specific factors in divorce can trigger those ugly emotions you never even realized you had: