Selena Gomez shocked fans during summer 2016 when she abruptly canceled the remainder of her Revival tour to seek treatment for anxiety and depression. (This was the second time she’d ended a major tour. The first was when she cut a tour short to get treatment for lupus.) Her return to the spotlight came in November at the American Music Awards, where she delivered an inspiring speech , in which she discussed her mental health battles. “If you are broken, you don’t have to stay broken,” she said at the AMAs. And in a recent interview with Vogue , Gomez has revealed more about the path she took to becoming un-“broken.”
Gomez, who appears on the cover of Vogue ‘s April issue , spoke to the magazine about her recent struggles with both anxiety and depression—starting with what prompted her to cancel the 30-plus stops remaining on her Revival world tour. “Tours are a really lonely place for me,” Gomez said. “My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion.”
To get the help that she needed, Gomez checked herself into a psychiatric facility in Tennessee. There, she surrendered her cell phone and took part in various forms of therapy (individual therapy, group therapy, and equine therapy) with a small group of other young women. She would end up staying there for 90 days of treatment. “You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls—real people who couldn’t give two shits about who I was—who were fighting for their lives ,” Gomez told Vogue . “It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done.”
Since part of the treatment involved giving up her cell phone, Gomez was on a social media hiatus for those three months of treatment. And while she has since returned to Instagram (where she is the most-followed person), she still posts sparingly. In fact, she no longer has the app installed on her phone, according to Vogue , and an assistant has her password. “It felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about,” she said. “I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”
And in addition to cutting back on social media, Gomez continues therapy as part of her treatment. According to Vogue , she sees her therapist five times a week and participates in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—a treatment used to improve communication, help regulate emotions, and teach mindfulness practices. “DBT has completely changed my life,” Gomez said. “I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient—to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back—the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
See some images of Selena Gomez in Vogue below.
- 10 Subtle Signs That It’s Time To Care For Your Mental Health
- Selena Gomez Called Herself “Absolutely Broken” During An Emotional Acceptance Speech
- Does Quitting Social Media Actually Do Anything For Your Mental Health?
Also: Selena Gomez Goes Behind the Scenes With Vogue (from Vogue)